When good people help good people

The other day, I posted a blog about a family whose 12-year-old has battled cancer for 7 years and they have a host of other difficulties.

The response was tremendous from the people of SonRise Church as well as friends who read this blog.  As a result, a church member whose husband works with “Sam” send out this email:

“Several people have contacted us to let us know that they wanted to help “Sam and Jane”.  My husband said that he was going to talk to “Sam”today at work to coordinate the donations.  Well when he told “Sam” that our church had sent out an email and there were a lot or responses, “Sam” asked that we hold off on getting things together for them.  He told my husband that they were given a new dryer and stove, the truck has been worked on and someone is going to pay for their 12-year-old’s dental work, and their mortgage payments have been caught up.  He is thankful for all everyone is doing, but right now he is a little overwhelmed. We are also overwhelmed. in an awesome way.  We all have witnessed this Christmas miracle.   I know that several people have food, and items they want to donate, but at this time, we think it best to step back. In a few days we will talk to “Sam” again and then coordinate the donations.  We will keep everyone posted.   Our God is an awesome God and our Church family is wonderful. Thank you all.”

I am amazed at the power of a few people uniting to help someone in genuine need. Let us remember this as an example of how we can have a huge impact if we live generously, even if our “generous” isn’t very much.

Help a family in need

I became aware of a family in need today when one of our church members sent out an email. I have changed the names for privacy because I don’t have permission to put this out for the world to see.  I cannot imagine this situation. Tara and I have decided we are going to do something to help this family out. I hope you will too.

 ”Sam and Jane” and their two children live near Salisbury, MD.  The children are 12 and 10.   About 7 years ago their son, the 12-year-old, was diagnosed with cancer and had to have chemotherapy, his right hand was amputated and last year he had cancer on his tongue and the doctors had to remove 1/3 of his tongue.  They have long since reached the maximum lifetime medical benefits of $1,000,000.00 and as a result they have to get insurance for him through the government.  The only way to get that medical insurance is if they don’t make over a certain amount of money, as a result of all this, the mother had to quit her job, initially to be the primary caregiver to the child, and also because if she works then their son will not have any medical insurance.  It is a terrible Catch 22. They have tried to make the best of the situation and she is homeschooling the children.  The salary that “Sam” makes is budgeted to the penny for all their bills.  They don’t have any extra money for anything.  Last week we found out that they are really having a hard time right now.  “Sam” called a friend last week asking for help.  He had gotten a deer but didn’t have the money to take it to the butcher but he said they really needed the food.  So, two friends helped him butcher it so they wouldn’t be without food.  Just in the past few months they have had their heat pump go bad, the dryer died, their stove only has 1 burner that works and he had to get tires on his truck so that he could make it to work.  As a result of the chemotherapy that the 12-year-old had, his baby teeth have never fallen out so his teeth are coming in all crooked.  They have to have 11 teeth pulled at $100.00 per tooth.  The insurance will not cover any of that, nor will it cover any portion of the braces that he needs.  They said last weekend they had $22.00 left over after they paid their bills and they got $10.00 in food and $12.00 in gas so he could get to work.  They have to take the 12-year-old to Johns Hopkins a few days after Christmas for a checkup and they don’t have the money for gas and parking for that.  The list just goes on and on.  They have had to declare bankruptcy and are 3 months behind in their mortgage payments. These are good people who have had a rough time the last 7 years as a result of all the medical issues with their son.  This could happen to any of us.  It would be a huge blessing if anyone could help this family out.  I don’t know if there is a dentist out there that may be willing to donate their services or a portion of their services towards the braces and other dental care the 12-year-old needs.   It would be wonderful if anyone else would be able to help them out by monetary donations or gift cards for gas, grocery stores, Wal-Mart, anything at all.  If anyone can help them out they can mail their gifts to…

If you or your organization wants to help, call me at 443-523-5099 or click the link on the top right of the screen to email me.

If everyone that reads this blog even sent $10, or a $10 gift card, that would be a HUGE help for this family

Discipline: Fatherhood

Few things give me more joy and more fear than being a father.  As far as I am concerned, if I succeed in every area of life and fail as a father and husband, I have failed in life. But, if I succeed as a father and husband, then my level of success in every other area of life is a by-product.

In his book, Hughes offers great challenges and encouragement for men who are fathers:

• “Men, the mere fact of fatherhood has endowed you with terrifying power in the lives of your sons and daughters, because they have an innate, God-given passion for you.”
• Hughes instructs us to guard against criticism, overstrictness, irritability, inconsistency, and favoritism.
• Hughes instructs us to be careful to practice tenderness, discipline, and instruction.
• “We must beware of packing our schedules by saying ‘yes’ to things which mean ‘no’ to our families.”

Being a husband and father requires us as men, to set aside our own preferences and live sacrificially. To be successful, we must discipline ourselves to devote our time to our kids. We must set aside our hobbies unless we can incorporate time with our wife and kids in our hobbies. We are far better off enjoying our wives’ hobbies and our kids’ hobbies than trying to make them tolerate ours.

Some other great resources on this subject are:

Driscoll: Pastor Dad

Driscoll: 16 Daddy Christmas Tips

Resurgence: Biblical Parenting

Stanley: Choosing to Cheat

Book: From Eden to the new jerusalem

There is a contest to win a free copy of Desmond Alexander’s new book “From Eden to the New Jerusalem“.  I have read and re-read “From Paradise to the Promised Land” and greatly enjoy it.  I am posting this on my blog hoping to receive a free copy!

Discipline: Marriage

In this book, Hughes calls men to be men (as opposed to boys) in their marriage. Here are the portions of the book I found particularly impactful and challenging:

• “A man who embraces such a love will experience the grace of death to self”
• “Men, do you pray for your wives with something more than, ‘Bless good old Margaret in all she does’? If not, you are sinning against her and against God.”
• “Men…do you realize it is your responsibility to seek your wife’s sanctification?”
• “Loving your spouse is not to love her as a saint, but as a sinner.”
• “Everything about us: our eyes…our language…our schedules…our passion must say to her, ‘I am, and will always be, faithful to you.’”
• “The discipline of communication demands that you set aside regular time to talk – and that you really do talk, and that you communicate more than facts, that you communicate feelings.”
• “Compliments on her kindness and her daily provisions should be commonplace, as should showing her respect by observing common courtesies.”
• “Many men never forego a planned pleasure for the sake of their wives…But if you love your wife, there must be times when you forsake the heavenly greens [Golf course] because you value her interests and simply love her”
• “Your calendar reveals what is important ot you, so write her calendar into yours.”

 

It’s a little weird for me to think about marriage from a vantage point of discipline because love and discipline seem polarized in my head. But more and more I am seeing that they are two sides of the same coin. For example, Hebrews 12:6 says that God disciplines those he loves.  I am finding that I must discipline myself to pray with Tara, to talk with Tara, and to spend time with Tara, because my natural tendency is to take her for granted. My natural tendency is to devote attention to her whenever it “just happens” rather than intentionally and in a disciplined way, make time for her. I want to pray with her, talk to her, spend time with her, and much more, but what I find is that unless I intend on doing this in a disciplined manner every day, I end up distracting myself with things that do not deserve my attention and certainly do not deserve my love, nor do they love me in return.  I love my wife more than anything on earth, and the paradox of it is that it is so easy for me to take her for granted.

Some other great resources on this subject are:

Another post of mine: Resolve: Pray with your spouse

Powlison videos on marital intimacy: here

Piper: This Momentary Marriage

Tripp: What did you Expect?: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage

Here are the previous posts in this blog series:

Discipline

Discipline: Purity